Cafe Camarano

Two Build a Better Nat House

Remember those old craft projects back in scouting: the ash tray, the leather key fob, the Nat house. Brings back the glory days of youth just thinking about them.

DC is trying to build a Nat House; of course Linda Cropp and her trained seals on the DC Council will screw it up. After all some things are as inevitable as the tide. Yet excitment is in the air as 2 competing designs have been presented to the public. One of which is a beautiful flowing design that will really highlight the city in all it's glory on those hot steamy nights down in the swamp. Mrs. Eugene Abernathy of Scaggsville MD writes in to enquire where is the best place to build your Nat house for maximum exposure. Well Mrs. Abernathy the best place to attract Nats is as close as possible to a stagnant, festering, cesspool of toxic waste and human excrement! OOoh you mean like where they are building the new ballpark! Exactly!! Beautiful downtown Anacostia, just take a left at the waste water treatment plant, follow the filthy water of the nearly stagnant Anacostia river, and park at one of the many fine crack houses or tenenmant buildings conveniently located within walking distance of the the park. I prefer to give Ol' Booger Joe an extra $5 bucks to pretend to watch my car rather than have him spit all over it as he and his friends strip it of every valuable piece of equipment.

Plan number two on the other hand will no doubt be the pet project of the aforementioned Linda Cropp and her amazing trained seals. That is a cheap, budget cutting, graft infested, hunk of twisted metal and poured concrete! No, No, John don't hold back, tell us what you really think! I'm sure that only their closest relatives and friends will be awarded the contracts to build this ballpark. It will of course not be completed on time and there might be one or two small flaws in the construction. Nothing major, perhaps the field will be circular rather than diamond shaped, and the concrete will probably flake off but there is no need to be niggling about the details. It will have no flair, poor views of the city, and the laughing stock of major League Baseball but it will be our ballpark.

Mr. Enoch Ingledoo of Bladensburg MD writes in to ask "what will be the name of the new ballpark?" Good question, it seems the really good sports arenas have really catchy names like: The Igloo, Mile High, The Horseshoe, Fenway, Wrigley (okay maybe not so much the last 2). So I have named it The Nat House, but some others that came to mind are The Cesspool, The CrackHouse, and the BlackHole of DC. Perhaps I should have a contest to see if we can find a good name for the new ballpark. I think for now I will stick with the Nat House. So bring your reppelant, and some stickups, put on your team jersey bulletproof vest, and get into your ol' cluncker and I will catch you at the Nat House!

For your viewing pleasure here are some pics of the proposed Nat House.

Here is a link for a cool aerial tour!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2006/03/14/VI2006031401066.html

posted by Flashy @ 8:32 AM